Chose Wisely
by Tema-Sama
Summary: crack-fic..reaalllllyyy funnnnyyy read! No Parings Akatsuki meetings ONE SHOT!


Okay here I am in the middle of a forest and its pouring rain...I am piss mad.

When I run into un other than the leader of the Akatsuki...Pein!

Bam!

"State your name" He said more like demanded "or I shall kill you."

I panicked. 'Cmon stupid head think...GOT IT'

"Wait...I have a proposition for you" I quickly stated.

"Continue." He spoke with command.

I pulled out two books.

"In one hand i have 101 different rain storms or...Konan's Diary..."I

repeatedly rose my browe."chose wisely" I whispered.

Then I was gone.

--

I was walking in the country of Rain in a beautiful flower meadow.

Where I nocited a blue haired angel making...Origami...When

I realized her cloak ' Akatsuki ' I thought..was about to run

when I tripped ' fuck'. I was hidden but I know she defiantly

heard me.

"Who's there" yelled the beautiful woman " come out or I'll kill you!"

"Sorry I uh...have something for you...Interested?" I waited for her to

answer.

"Mhm...what is it?" She lowered her kunai.'Thank god'

When I pulled out...

Konan's POV

'What is that..OMG IS THAT WATERPROOF..' She thought.

End.

"Waterproof water or...Peins personal journal." I smirked at her

reaction "Chose wisely" I whispered. Then i disappeared.

--

Okay well I'm in a plant store when I walked out the back to bump

into...'FUCK A VENUS FLY TRAP THING...' I thought

"Shit Akatsuki" I yelled.

"Look Zetsu a human" A evil voice said.

"Yes..indeed it is" A semi-normal voice...

'Okay schizo...' I realized.

"Shall we devour her?" The creep said...black side?

'DEVOUR ME NOOOOOOO!!' I screamed inside.

"Wait please" I protested at this mythical creature.

"Yes..." Said the white side.

"Continue mortal" The evil MC stated...demanded...

"Okay my flesh or plant fertilizer?" I grinned..."chose

wisely" I whispered like the wind...I floated away.

--

'Damn I can not believe those chicks guess

I 'll go to a different bathhouse...' My eyes widen..

"Itachi Uchiha...peeping...at..naked...girls..

through a hole...what the fuck.?" I questioned him.

"Shut up ... I kill you." His eyes started to spin...

"Shit!!" I darted my eyes to his...FEET! I started

to whisper to myself..." Look at his feet..look at his

feet...look at his..." I lifted my head "..Dude sweet

painted purple toes.." I finished...smiling at him.

"What.. grrr you die today..." He was cut off.

"Wait I got a problem I have this.." pulls out

weasel in cage.."this weasel or..." pulls out

caged...girl? " this girl...chose wisely..." I

whispered then..ran the fuck outta there.

--

Beachhhhhh!! 'Thank kami i got today off...

all day at the beachhhh!!' I thought...

"ouch stupid bitch..." Said a man that has blue skin

and red & black shorts...

"Akatsuki" Gasps. I got my big bag of things.

"Hey what cha doing little star nin.."

He was cut off by well of course me.

"Shut it...Look don't say who I am and you shall

get this life time supply of...Sake! " He gaped!

" Wait or salt bubbles for bath time..chos." I was cut off.

"GEMMMIEEEE THE SAKE!"

' weird dude.. oh welll no blood spilled here.'

"This is the life" Said a very drunk blue man.

--

"Hidan of the...Akatsuki" I was in shock.

"Stupid slut I shall sac..." He too was cut off

"Dude we are blood brothers." I pulled out

my Jashin necklace.

"Oh..wanna do a cem.." Again he was cut off.

"YES!" I screamed.

Okay wellz me and Hidan were chilling when

"Kakuzu?" I looked up at him "Here is 1 milli Ryu"

His eyes widen when i threw the bag of money at him.

"MONEY" He yelled running away.

" Uhh...where did that come from" Hidan asked me.

"Do not question me Hidan" I kept my tone leveled.

--

Well my Jashin ceremony ...rocked like rocks.

When I hit into a...man..at...a woman's nail salon...

"Deidara of the Akatsuki?" I looked at him..

'Wtf is he doing here...?' I thought a millions times

over in my head...

"Uh Shit your gonna tell the others bitch you shall

die tonight!!" He yelled causing the other

persons to look at us...

"Deidara don't kill me..and i will either give you

A LIFE TIME SUPPLE OF clay or hair spray..

chose wisely..." I whispered ...while waling away

smiling...

--

I was still smiling my favorite song was just on

Do I attract you?  
Do I repulse you with my queasy smile?  
Am I too dirty?  
Am I too flirty?  
Do I like what you like?

I could be wholesome  
I could be loathsome  
I guess I'm a little bit shy  
Why don't you like me?  
Why don't you like me without making me try?

I try to be like Grace Kelly  
But all her looks were too sad  
So I try a little Freddie  
I've gone identity mad! ...

Then I tripped..over a person...

OMG Sasori of the red sand...

"S-sorry S-sasori before you kill

me I have a deal..."

He stopped dead in his attack.

"What kind of deal?"

"I happen to have the...clean up your

puppet after a bloody fight kit on me...

...or would you like a shit load of dead bodies??"

He thought then was about to answer.."chose wisely"

I was gone with the song.

--

LALALALA...I heard outside my window??

'Gahhh Its fucking 3 in the morning wth..' I got

off my bed to look out my window tobi??

"Hey Tema-.." He was cut off.

"Tobi don't say that...what do you want?"

" A gift to you my love." He said a smooth voice...

"Get the fuck outta here...wait i got something for you."

Tobi waits... 5 minutes later..."Here one book on

HOW TO ANNOY YOUR FELLOW FRIENDS.

good luck kiddo"

"THANK YOU TEMA-SAMA!"

'Jesus tobi always tell him not to say my name...'

END!


End file.
